We've all heard the stereotypes about northern and southern Italy, and Italians. In my experience there's a little (or a lot) of truth in some of them. Still, the entire discussion around the two halves of the country tends to be oversimplified and framed either in dry economic terms or through the lens of international tourism.
If you've lived in both, or either, the north or south of Italy you'll know there really are a lot of differences. Some of them are mundane, others serious, some of them just strange or annoying, but they build up to make a huge difference to your everyday quality of life.
And, in the end, if you live in Italy and if you live in a city, some things are basically the same everywhere.
I've been thinking a lot about it this week as I mark six months of moving back to northern Italy (well, the centre-north) after six years in the south.
With a toddler the city of Florence was the obvious choice. I'd argue that no other Italian city can beat it in terms of what it offers for families, including but not limited to Italy's most generous childcare subsidy (which I wrote about here, and have since successfully applied for) and some of the best early years education in the country.
Then there are free public facilities like well-maintained parks and ludoteche (children's play centres), as well as a huge programme of activities for kids, often free - which is why Florence was named the best place in Italy for families this year.
The international community here - especially the other frazzled parents - has been incredibly welcoming, while I know it will take a long time, perhaps a lifetime, to be accepted by my Florentine neighbours. Even so, the city treats me more or less like everyone else. A foreign working mother is nothing out of the ordinary, and won't face the intense questioning or outdated assumptions I dealt with in the south.
Everyone assumes the south of Italy is friendlier, and it can be, but I found it often superficial. I don't personally think the north is "cold" at all, but the way people react to you as a foreigner is different. After six years in Bari, I was still just the novelty English-speaking friend. In Florence, that's not the case though the flipside is that people are so used to foreigners that they presume things and can be pretty dismissive.
If you do speak Italian, your accent (and in my case appearance) immediately marks you out. People always, always comment on my accent in Tuscany, even when they're being incredibly nice. In the south, no one even blinked, and people were happy to talk to me at length no matter how badly I mangled my Italian grammar at times.
The downsides and complaints I could list about life in Florence could mostly apply to any city in Italy, particularly in the north. Exorbitant rents, semi-functional public transport, noise, tourist crowds, heavy traffic, crazy parking and abundant petty crime. These are just the terms you sign up for.
Florence doesn't function perfectly, because it's still Italy. But it functions. You can live here and have access to world-class culture and education - with some difficulties and annoyances and quirks.
In Bari, the pleasures are simpler - the sea views, beach days, the fresh, locally caught seafood, the total unpredictability of anything. All great when you're on holiday or have a lot of free time.
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The pain was reserved for residents, who have to stand outside the questura (police headquarters) in the street for hours under the blazing sun to renew their residency permits, and navigate crazy traffic and a public transport system so obscure that it didn't even show up on Google Maps.
I know Florence has a bad reputation for crazy driving, too, but it's nothing compared to southern cities. Here it's just standard Italian recklessness. You don't see the things I saw in Bari, like a family of four crammed onto a scooter with just one helmet between them (worn by the dad, driving.)
That's not to say it's always easier to live in Florence. In the past six months I've dodged rental scams, wrangled local and regional bureaucracy, and just the other day I fought off a bag snatcher on crowded public transport. I've filed two police reports and survived the most intense summer heat on record in a small apartment.
Hopefully the next six months will be easier, but no one moves to any Italian city for a quiet life.
It's difficult, and perhaps unfair, to compare the two cities like for like. It's even harder to compare northern and southern Italy, because of the vast and persistent economic differences which colour every aspect of life - education opportunities, health, transport - and which are often difficult to unpick from cultural differences.
The south is growing economically at a slightly faster rate than the north, and the cost of living in Bari is not as low as people assume. The problems in the south are deep and structural and not improving: the effects of poverty and organised crime, corruption, chronic underfunding, a lack of jobs and education, or services - like childcare - that just don't exist (or certainly didn't in my case).
There's really no way to say which city, or which side of the country, is better to live in - what is "quality of life", anyway? It all depends on what matters to you.
But for now, at this life stage, Florence is the right place for me. That might all change by this time next year.
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